I confess. I found “The Sound of Music on Oprah” on YouTube today and I watched the whole show. (Yes, I had Nicole’s permission to do this, after our serendipidous moment yesterday.) As the show was beginning I was certain that I was going to cry the whole way through. It just brought back way too many memories of my childhood and my grandparents. But I didn’t. I think it was because I knew all but two of the “behind the scenes” fun facts that they revealed (I have spent a lot of time thinking about and studying The Sound of Music), so the show wasn’t as “exciting” to me as it might have been for more normal people.
The part that got me was when the von Trapp great grandchildren came out to sing. (You can watch it at the 10 minute mark of the video below.) No, I didn’t cry. But I had that bittersweet feeling that accompanies moments that remind you of such great joy that they make you feel horrible and almost empty. Of course, it doesn’t help that the song they sang was Edelweiss which is my all-time favourite song from the movie. We even had it in the prelude music at our wedding and sometimes I sing it to the kids as a lullaby. But it was more than that. It was the clips they had on the screen behind them from the movie. It was seeing Julie Andrews and Christopher Plummer watching the singers and realizing that there will come a time soon when they won’t even be around. (Although, this also made me relieved that I didn’t pursue marrying Christopher Plummer, though I really wanted to when I was 5 years old. The man is almost 50 years my senior, after all…) And then it reminded me that I am no longer that 5 year old sitting on my granny’s knee in her big old squeaky chair watching that movie one or two times a day, singing along with her, and feeling her tapping her arm or move her slippered-feet to the beat of the music. Those days are gone. They were beautiful, but they are gone.
And it really does hurt to remember your favourite things… even though they are your favourite. They don’t last. Movie actors get old. And grandparents die. And we all grow up and wish we could hold onto some of those things with more than just that half-beautiful, half-rotten feeling that “those times were amazing”. But I guess that’s what we have. And it’s best to hold on to your favourite things and the bittersweetness of remembering.
What’s that line from the song? “Blossom of snow may you bloom and grow, bloom and grow forever….”