I cannot get out of my head the fact that Marc no longer has to go to the library. Yesterday I was reading outside while Olivia and her friend played in the field. When Marc came out, I thought, “Marc’s off to the library.” It took me a while to realize — no. No he’s not going to the library. He’s done!
It’s a good feeling.
The only frustrating thing is that the two weeks between Marc’s grad and me starting my May class have been some of our busiest weeks. I am so fried. There is so much I want to be doing to make the last few months in this trailer livable. So much that I’ve been waiting to do around here. But these two weeks are not the time to do it. It’s hard to wait. To live in chaos. And not just in terms of the trailer. Everything feels up in the air right now.
Yesterday was a really hard day. Feeling like we suddenly have “all of this time”, yet we are still so busy. Still working towards changes in the coming months. Managing the daily life of the kids. But exhausted by the previous weeks and months and to tired at the present moment to face what is ahead.
Yes. I am speaking in vague generalities today…
For now, today is a much better day than yesterday. This afternoon I will finish reading a book. I will decorate Olivia’s birthday cake and prepare for her birthday party. And I even get poutine for lunch.
Today is a better day. And tomorrow will be what it will be.