You know why the world is broken? Not because bad things happen. But because the good things don’t make us happy. Or at least the things we think of as good don’t make us happy.
I had a little breakdown this morning. Maybe it wasn’t little. An almost hyperventilating, crying ’til your lips are swollen kind of breakdown. I think I’m over it now. I just needed to get all my frustration and sadness out.
There is so much good in our lives, yet we just can’t stay happy. We don’t know how to appreciate it. We toss aside onto the floor (or any open surface in this house) the things we thought were important enough to spend our money on.
It’s like clutter is this disease that’s snuck into our systems and we can’t escape it because it’s everywhere, everywhere we look, everywhere we sit, even where we lay our heads at night.
And what’s worse is that we have brought this on ourselves and continue to do so. Week after week, parcel after parcel has arrived from Amazon or Old Navy with things that we’ve ordered. It never seems to stop. And we forget about it as soon as it arrives, sometimes even before it arrives.
I don’t want anything for Christmas this year. That makes me cry. It makes me cry because I feel like I’ve gotten to the place where I can’t enjoy the good things that surround me. Because there is too much. That sounds ridiculous, but I think it is a symptom of something very wrong with our culture. And it’s something that makes me very unhappy on the days that I’m aware enough to notice it… to be frustrated by it.
I know there is nothing wrong with gifts. Gifts are good and meant to bring joy. But if I could get anything for Christmas this year, it would be freedom from this horrible feeling I have from my head down to my stomach that these things we acquire only breed unhappiness.
Won’t someone come and turn my world upside down and shake out all of the things that don’t really matter. Shake up my heart so I can be happy in want and in plenty. I want so much to enjoy all the good gifts that are in this world, even the Christmas presents.